ya fused...

ya it is fused now bt dat time, it didnt fuse like i expected...


so now when i knew dat dere was no escape, i had to blabber smethng, blabbering dosnt always help...i thot i'll make up smethng, bt i dont knw y, mayb out f fear or just sheer love, i nvr found the courage to lie to her, so i finally said it...


i told her..." dis is not a question that i am asking..i like u a lot and would love to spend my entire life with u "...


so i said it, and waited for the worse to happen...nothng happened...all i saw was her smiling and saying, what should i say...


u know, guys r very good at assuming things...we have this tendency to see things and assume that we got the answers...so i assumed, i assumed that it was a yes and said u dont hav to say nythng, i told her dat i just wantd u to knw...ya dat was not a lie, i just wantd her to know...bt den i'll always b a guy so my guy sense concluded that its a yes...


i remember, aftr i had joined ma MBA, der was this professor who told the class, " assuming means to make an ass out of urslf "...assume = ass u me...so i guess now its clear, assuming means making an ass out of urslf nd dat was precisely what i did :)


bt den dat ass i made of maslf was so nice, dat feeling was so fulfilling, i wished i remained that ass throughout :)


ya but den m a human so cant be an ass throughout ma life...k once i had assumed a yes,der was dis courage i got, mayb coz of the assumption...i had this courage, like d feeling of being the incredible hulk who can rip opn a tank or mayb jump through continents, bt cummon m no incredible hulk, bt dat feeling....


i managed to just ask her one questn..." do u think i'll be able to keep u happy if i marry u? "...nd den i waited...


i waited for those beautiful lips, the likes i feel of jennifer lopez...nw i havent tried jennifers lips, neither hav i tried her's so i think its just so that u ppl knw dat i felt she was the most beautiful der existed...ya i waited for them to tell me a yes, coz as i said early ,we guys are really gud at making asses out of ourselves, bt den assumptions dont always b rite...


what she said was very diffrnt frm wht i ws expecting, bt ya i heard her say a yes at a point but dat was just a part of it....


the lips told me..." tony, the answer is a simple yes or knw, but i need time "...


ya time, bt der was no specific guideline given, i thot mayb she'll say " i'll tel u n a couple of days" bt nothng cme out aftr need time....


To be continued...


when u start liking someone, u never worry about the logical sense that it makes, will the families accept, is it a rational decision to like her...it just happens...u forget the world during those moments of joys, and try to find the entire universe in it...it feels like the day starts and ends with her, like u can live a zillion years just looking at her, like der's a god in her...

Things have changed...

i used to write dis blog about someone in my life, but i am afraid now i'll have to write it about someone who was in my life...i had stopped writing the blog because i felt whats the point in writing about someone who is not there with you, but now i realize, its not about whats happened now, its about sharing all those beautiful moments we shared, all those unforgettable memories, its about the bond that was so divine and blessed...its about that pure relation that just existed in our hearts...


Life is not about giving up, its about getting up and making your way...

Yes, i was wrong...

my way of getting out of the trouble, actually led me more into it...

the week that followed, she came to my city and on the day she was about to go asked me if i would like to accompany her...now i don't miss any chance of spending time with her, so how was i to miss this opportunity...

so, unaware of what was waiting for me in the trip i packed up, made reasons to people and ran to where we were to meet...

waiting for her was like waiting in the queue to get the ticket to your favorite starts show, u never feel the heat, the external factors never really matter because on the other side of waiting is that felling of joy, of victory, of happiness which fades these brief moments of pain... so, i waited with dreams reeling in my mind...

i was to accompany her in a bus journey so i started dreaming... common i didn't have anything to do other than that... if i didn't tell u, i was waiting alone... so i dreamed, like in movies when the hero and heroin are going for a ride and during the ride the heroin suddenly feels all sleepy and rests her head on the hero's shoulder and the guy's face lights up like a 100 watts bulb suddenly supplied with 300 watts of supply and still glowing... now if this happened to me i would have fired up like a 20 watts bulb with 600 watts supply... now, i don't know how all these things happen or what are the psychological reasons behind them, but the dream itself felt so nice... 

so dreaming, dreaming, dreaming... Tony? !!!

Ya thats what my friends call me and sometimes thats what she likes calling me... so now the dream broke and i don't think i need to explain on how it broke...

so there she was standing, lit up like an angel. she was so beautiful, i would have kept staring at her if it wasn't for her strong stare... did i tell u? i am scared of her, ya m scared of her.... reasons for which are unknown...

so, because i was scared i stopped staring and she smiled... her smile is like that best food supplement that will keep your energy levels high for like the next 72 hrs...

we ran around looking for the bus we were to board and fortunately or unfortunately we found one... we boarded the bus and started our journey...

now she was with me so i was talking and talking... but back of my head was this prayer going "god when is she gonna sleep, i'll light 10 candles if she sleeps, ok 100 candles or maybe 1000s, just make her sleepy" ... the motive was, she feels sleepy then she rests her head on my shoulders and then background music plays " Pyaar hua, ikraar hua hai, pyaar se phir kyun darta hai dil" and then the 20 watts lights up at 600 watts...

but, great she didn't sleep, she was not even close to feeling sleepy... so we continued and then out of nowhere like a lightning bolt to heart came the question " tony what is it that u wanted to tell but couldn't tell and were waiting for the right time, u promised you'll tell " .... this is the typical case of when a yes means u kill me and a no means i'll die of a heart attack...

for me it was like someone had shot the bus driver and the bus was out of control, at-least my journey was now out of my control...

i had no clue what to say, but somewhere deep in my heart i had this feeling "Its now or never"... so, now when u have such a strong statement coming from your heart u tend to act courageously, so thats what i did.. i acted, like there was nothing, and oh did i tell u she's stubborn... oh yes she's so stubborn, its like she has an anchor attached to her going like 6000 ft below the ground and anchoring her decision, u can't make her change the decision or whatever it is... so now i was there stuck without having a clue on what to do...

i knew that i'll have to tell her something otherwise i'll be in big time trouble, so i made up my mind to tell her...

so, now i gathered all the courage i had with some more courage and like a fierce dragon unleashing its wrath on the person in front started talking... at-least thats what i thought, but it took me some time to realize that i thought i was talking but i had no voice coming out of my mouth, so, what i was doing was acting dumb, my lips were moving but nothing was coming...

i think she understood my situation, she said " either you tell me what it is or we don't talk all through the journey"...

so here i was with the dream of a 20 watt bulb glowing at 600 watt, which had now become a nightmare with the potential to get fused.... 

To be continued....